There's a cricket in the newsroom. It's been chirping for hours now, and the noise gets louder every minute.
The only time he stops chirping is when Albie gives a real loud cough. It's like the cricket is trying to figure out what Albie is saying. Then it starts chirping again, happier than ever.
A few weeks ago, I got sick of hearing a noisy cricket in advertising. Our calendar editor wanted to kill it during the day, but our top editor yelled at her and called her cruel. As soon as the editor left for the night, I snuck into her office and grabbed a bottle of ant poison she keeps under her desk.
Albie yelled at me, "what are you doing? Where are you going with that?"
I rushed over to advertising before he could stop me and sprayed the cricket straight in the face. It started hopping towards me and I ran back into the newsroom.
"He's coming after me!" I yelled, then I hid behind Albie.
It was scary, but oh, the silence! Unfortunately, today's cricket is hiding behind our chips supply in the sports department. I wouldn't want to taint that with poison.