Let's get this straight - American football isn't really a sport.
First of all, the so-called players never do anything except stand there on the field in strange positions, and sometimes slapping each other on the butt.
Tonight there was a very important game on TV - Patriots vs. Jets. Not important because of any playoff or because either of the teams is Albie's favorite. Oh no, it was important because Albie plays in an online fantasy league and might win money at the end of the season if "his" players do well in real life.
In between commercial breaks at "Ace of Cakes," we had to switch to the NFL Network to see updates in the game. Then we had to watch the rest of the game, when my cake show was over.
"Why are they doing that?" I asked Albie as one player was taking a swipe at another player, and the other player punched the first guy in the back. After all, the two guys were on the same team, so it didn't make any sense.
"They are congratulating each other for a good play," he explained.
"Oh," I said.
Between plays, before one guy was ready to hike the ball between his legs to a teammate, both teams were lined up on the field, opposite each other.
"Could he kick the ball?" I asked.
"Yeah," Albie said. "But that wouldn't make any sense. That's only one point, and they need a touchdown."
"No, I don't mean now, I mean in general," I explained. "When they are standing in that position, would he be allowed to kick the ball? I mean, the guy from the other team is leaning forward over the ball, so if the first guy kicks it, that guy would get it right in the face."
Albie just shook his head at me.
"No," he said.
"He can't kick the ball now."
And like this we watched until the Patriots tied the game and it went to overtime.
"What??? They have to play another 15 minutes???" I complained.
"It'll be quick," Albie said. "It's sudden death. Whoever scores the first point wins, and the game is over."
"Yes, I understand what sudden death is," I said. "They have that in real sports, too."