Cinco De Bryan

Bryan Adams has a very special place in my heart.

For my 13th birthday, I got a large, black stereo with a built-in CD player and a record player on top. “Waking Up the Neighbours” was my first CD.

Of course, I didn’t know anything about the “Summer of ‘69” back then. Nor had I heard about “Heaven.”

But from “Can’t Stop This Thing We Started” to “Everything I Do, I Do It For You,” Bryan Adams was with me every afternoon after school until Christmas Eve, when I finally got my second CD.

I learned to like “Vanishing” and “House Arrest,” some of the lesser pieces on the disc. I studied the lyrics and asked my aunts questions about the meaning of complicated English words. Then I asked my friends why a girl would steal Bryan Adams’ razors, like he sings about in “Hey Honey, I’m Packin’ You In.”

One of my school projects about Canada included a paragraph or two about this famous Canadian and his young Danish model girlfriend. Was I jealous? Certainly!

I used to spend hours in my room just listening to music and dreaming about being someplace else with someone “hot” and interesting. Of course, this was around the same time I had a huge crush on my homeroom teacher, but that’s a whole other story…

In a couple of weeks, Bryan Adams is going to play at Toad’s Place in New Haven, a small but well-known music venue not too far from where I live. Mostly, larger local bands play there. The place was big in the 70s, I think, and The Doors may have played there during the highlight of their careers (they do reference the streets of New Haven in one of their songs).

At first, I wasn’t sure if the radio announcer said “Bryan” or “Ryan.” Ryan Adams is an alternative country rock singer from North Carolina that I have no interest in seeing (or hearing) perform.

When I got home, I quickly Googled Toad’s Place. The event is called Cinco De Bryan, a play on Cinco de Mayo – May 5. And tickets can only be obtained by winning a radio station-sponsored contest…

According to the official Bryan Adams Web site, he is kicking off a U.S. tour to promote his new CD. "These will be exclusive performances in very intimate and unique venues including small theatres, clubs and even a church," the Web site says.

I won’t go into details, but it seems like I’ll be going to the "intimate" show at Toad's Place. I’ll be writing about it for the paper, but I’ll definitely be enjoying it, too.

The only problem? It's the same night as the season finale of "The Bachelor."

Coming clean about 'The Bachelor'

Mostly, I watch crime or mystery shows on television. I frequently watch home improvement shows, and I try to watch the news at least a few times a week.

With the exception of “Super Nanny,” I’m not into reality TV. I hate watching glamorous girls compete to be the “Next Top Model” or the “Next Pussycat Doll,” and I don’t really seeing people “Dancing with the Stars.” The housemates of “Big Brother” just give me the creeps, and the singers on “American Idol” can’t grab my attention for more than a few seconds.

I do, however, watch “The Bachelor” – the cheesiest of all “reality” shows. I don’t usually watch the entire season since I find it hard to keep track of 25 girls. I prefer to start watching during “the hometown dates,” when there are four girls left who each get to bring the bachelor home to their parents. After that, there are only two shows left, and I am not wasting an entire spring watching TV.

This season, young financier Matt Grant came over from England to find the American girl of his dreams to settle down with. I saw the first show by accident while I was at the gym. As 25 flirty girls stepped out of an oversized limousine in their slutty evening gowns to greet the eager and handsome 27-year-old Englishman, I was hooked.

“I can’t believe that show is still on,” my dentist said during a recent visit.

The only reason a guy goes on that show is to see how many of the girls he can sleep with, she said. None of the relationships work out, she said, because as soon as the “chosen one” finds out that the bachelor slept with one, five or all of the other girls during the taping of the show, she dumps him.

I googled the previous bachelors, and it seems my dentist was right. None of the other ones made it. One couple is still together, but have called off the engagement because they “just weren’t ready yet,” according to a celebrity magazine. Oh no, wait, they broke up a few months later.

Last season’s bachelor didn’t even pick a girl at the end. In a first-ever ‘Bachelor’ finale, he sent both finalists home without a ring. I think that was my favorite so far.

It can’t be easy watching yourself on television when the show finally airs – for either one of them.

I think I enjoy the show so much because of the intrigue – so many girls living together and fighting over one guy. It’s also fun when the girls say really stupid things, like, “we’ll make it work, somehow.” Perhaps it is the joy of carefully examining the editing, wondering what was left out at the end of the day…Or perhaps it is just that I happen to have Monday nights off from work and can waste an hour of my evening watching crappy television.