'Welcome to America'

A few weeks after I received my greencard in the mail, I received “Welcome to the United States: A Guide for New Immigrants.”

What they send you is actually just an abridged version in a 4-page flyer. To get the complete guide, you have to visit a government web site. I considered doing that, just to see what the Urdu or Tagalog versions look like, but I am a bit offended they do not offer a Swedish equivalent.

Reading the small flyer makes me wonder what kind of people the government really gives greencards to. There’s advice on “Getting Settled in the United States” like how to find a place to live, how to get a job, how to find an English class and how to prepare for emergencies.

Now, if you do not have a place to live, why – and more importantly, how? – could you apply for permanent residency status? That’s the most ludicrous one, to me.

The brochure also advises that “you should not move permanently to another country” (Well, duh!), that “each person has an important role to play in his or her local community” (say what?) and that if you do not have a computer at home, “you can use one at your local public library or at an ‘Internet Café’” (to print the entire guide).

Reading the “guide” makes me think they should have just given me a greencard when I set foot on American soil at John F. Kennedy Airport back in 1998. I had a job, a place to stay, and I knew how to call 911. I had access to a computer AND I knew where the library was. I also spoke English, which is more than you can say of most people who come here (and end up staying).

So, remind me, why does the U.S. government make things so difficult?

The warm welcome

Today I had a letter from USCIS in the mail.

"Your application has been approved," it said. "Welcome to America."

To someone who has received at least a dozen letters from the government on the same letterhead, each listing a case number and an outcome, or a laundry list of missing documents, it was refreshing to get a letter where the overall tone was different.

Not only was the writer trying to convey a warm welcome while at the same time using government-approved sentences, but the bottom of the letter contained phone numbers you can call for help if you run into ANY problems, ANY at all.

All of a sudden, I am getting the VIP treatment. Now, I am almost an American.

The Greencard Interview

We had prepared for it for months, starting with the day I sent in the last of my "additional evidence" requested by the immigration authorities.

The night before the interview, Albie read aloud some sample questions he had found on the internet, and we learned that the interviwer may ask where we keep our towels and dirty laundry as well as who feeds the cats and how often, what we had for breakfast that morning and who sleeps on what side of the bed.

All my photo albums were ready to go - from the wedding album to cat and condo photos - and all our joint Christmas cards for the past 2 years were neatly arranged in Ziplock bags.

We got to the interview a few minutes early, found parking right away, and realized the building we were looking for was the courthouse. The metal detector was no problem, except for the paperclip in my shoe, and after we checked in with the receptionist we were seen almost immediately.

Albie had joked that I would be made to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, to which I confidently responded "I don't need to know it - I am not a citizen."

As we entered a small office with glass walls, the immigration officer stopped and asked us both to raise or right hand. "Oh shit!" I thought. Maybe Albie was right.

"Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth here today?" he asked.
"I do," Albie said.
"Yes," I replied.
Which led to a discussion as to what the correct and appropriate answer actually is. We found out that even nodding was OK in this instance.

"So, you guys live in (town name)?" our interviewer's first question was, although it wasn't really a question. "The Magic Valley."
Then we discussed the water quality of the local river (rumor has it that 20 years ago you could develop film in the river).
"And you are both reporters?"
"Well, we both work for newspapers. That's why we are so tired - it's the morning after Election Day."
"I see."

The interviewer looked through our applications. He turned to me, almost apologetically.
"Have you ever been arrested?"
"No."
"In any country?"
"No."
"I'm just kidding." He laughed. "I know you haven't."
He pointed to the papers.
Ha ha.
"Have you ever been a terrorist?"
"No."
"Let's see..." (Looking through papers)
"Is that my background check?"
"Yes. You're good - no terrorist activities."

More flipping through papers.
"So, you guys got married in Vermont?"
"Yes."
"Why do you want to come HERE, if you're from Sweden? You should make your husband move to Sweden!"
"Sure, maybe later, after we have kids."
"Although Sweden has its share of immigration problems."
"Sure."

"Any joint property?"
"Yes."
Paperwork.
"Good. This is great."

A few minutes later...
"OK, you are all set. Your greencard will arrive in two weeks."
"What? We're done?"
"Yup. Look for it in the mail."
"But don't you want to see our wedding photos?"
Sigh.
"Yes, sure."
"We've gone through all this trouble."
"That's what everyone says."

Fingerprints

I am going to get fingerprinted later today for my greencard application. Wish me luck!

P.S. This is my 400th post!

The HIV test

As part of the physical exam for my greencard application, I had to have my blood drawn to check for HIV (among other diseases).

I’ve haven’t had my blood drawn for as long as I can remember, and I don’t like needles. But what I was most scared about was the result. There’s no reason to be worried, I told myself. I don’t have HIV. But the little voice inside my head saying “but what if?” still overpowered my calm and reasonable mind.

I am no stranger to the deadly disease. I know how to protect myself – I know how it is transmitted, and more importantly, I know how it is NOT transmitted (hugs, touches, kissing, drinking from the same glass, etc.)

We’re in the 21st century, but so many people (in developed countries!) still believe you can get sick by just being near an HIV positive person.

A brother of one of my friends, Walter Heidkampf, who has lived with HIV for more than 20 years, was recently denied access to a self development class in Sweden because of the virus. Proof of a negative HIV result is required to register for the class.

When Walter tried to explain to the course organizers that he was not contagious and should be allowed to participate in the meetings and group sessions, they responded by saying “Sometimes we do emotional exercises that could result in a nosebleed or cuts and bruises.”

For Walter, who was already struggling with feelings of rejection and suicidal thoughts, the decision was lethal to his self esteem.

But he didn’t give up. He filed a complaint with the discrimination ombudsman in Sweden, who helped Walter sue the course organizers. Experts testified that the risk of transmitting HIV through a nosebleed is minimal, should a nosebleed even occur.

Walter won his case; the decision says he was discriminated against. The course he was seeking to take was created around people with struggles in life, but it denied some of those people the right to participate.

There wasn’t much money – Swedish courts rarely award a big sum – but the case was the first of its kind and will hopefully set a precedent that will help many HIV positives be a part of society.

And my test? Well it was negative. But waiting for 48 hours made me think of Walter and everything he’s been through. You can’t help but admire a man who is living ten years beyond what the doctors told him he would when he first tested positive for the virus that is slowly killing him. And he expects to live for another 20 years still – teaching people about HIV, how to prevent it, and how to fight for your rights.

Greencard application filed

I made the ever-so-important trip to the post office today to mail out my greencard application. Sorry, that's the "change of status" application in addition to Albie's "petition for alien relative" application.

It's nice to have it done. Hopefully it is done. And now we wait.

As I made out the cover sheet, I got up to Point 22 on my list of everything that's included. I'm sure at least SOMETHING is missing.

I guess I'll just wait and we'll find out!

The week from hell

Sunday - Worked extra on my day off, then started filling out Greencard papers

Monday - Continued with Greencard papers, then late-night dress rehearsal for concert

Tuesday - Blood drawn, tuberculosis test done

Wednesday - Tetanus shot, problems at work with several products, spent an hour at the bank trying to get a joint account

Thursday - Dentist for a filling

Friday - Back to Dr. No. 1 to check TBC test, which will make me late for work

Saturday - Will be a REALLY long day at work to catch up on stuff

Sunday - Concert, with rehearsals all day prior (plus I have to find the time to bake something)

Monday - Working extra again unloading a trailer of pottery

Doctor's visit

I tracked down an immigration-approved doctor's office that will see me later today (they had a last-minute cancellation). Wish me luck with all the blood tests and other scary stuff he might do!!!

Starting the paperwork

I couldn't help but giggle as I read the questions on one of my immigration forms.

"Have you ever within the past ten years been a prostitute or procured anyone for prostitution, or intend to engage in such activities in the future?"

Hm.... let me see.... is THAT why I need a greencard?

Have I trafficked any drugs? Assisted in illegal gambling? Helped an illegal alien across the border?

I think not.

But how about my involvement in a political assassination? Or my plans to engage in espionage? Geez. I wonder if anyone ever checks "yes" on any of these questions - and I really want to know what happens to those who do. If you were a known terrorist, would you admit it to an immigration officer?

How about these:

"Do you plan to practice polygamy in the United States?"

"Have you ever engaged in genocide?"

"Have you ever been a member of a Communist Party?"

I realize they are trying to make people nervous and trying to force people to tell the truth, but for me, it was mostly amusing - and a very simple part of the form. I haven't done any of these things, and I don't intend to. My only option is "no."

Overwhelmed

After an almost sleepless night spent thinking about all that needs to get done, Albie and I took some time today to talk through our priorities. Do we build a deck or finish the kitchen? Do we put in hardwood floors or buy a new refrigerator?

A few hours ago, I sat down in front of the computer determined to get to the bottom of the greencard application stuff - a higher priority than even floors or a new blender. I'd started looking up some stuff a few months ago, but there were so many forms mentioned and I wasn't in the mood to start looking for them.

Today I started from scratch at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (formerly the INS) web site, where one form directs you to another, that leads you to yet another... until the end of time. But at least all forms are there, with the instructions, in downloadable pieces with clear information about the excessive fees for each one.

After making a list of the I-130, I-864, I-485 (by far the most expensive one), and G-325A, I started reading the instructions for the scariest one of all: the I-693. This is a medical exam, where you are required to submit to an HIV test, a TBC test, and a test for syphilis. But no worries. You will get counseling if it turns out you have any of these diseases (that you have to pay for, of course). Oh, and they'll tell you if you have lepracy as well. Of course, none of these will automatically get you kicked out of the country - you just may have to file a waiver or two in order for your initial application to still be considered.

The tricky part - of course, you thought this would be easy? - is that you can't just go to your primary care physician to have these tests done. Oh no! They have to be completed by a "civil surgeon," a person authorized by USCIS to conduct said tests for this specific purpose. And how many of those are there in my area? None.

The closest one is about 20 minutes away, but there's one about 15 minutes away from my office. But will my health insurance cover these visits and these tests? I guess I'll just tell them to put it on my immigration tab. It'll surely add up anyway between the $80 biometrics fee for fingerprinting and the $70 bonus for the Department of State for the processing of the required affidavit of support. And those are the small fees.

Have I lost any readers yet? I'm surely lost somewhere in a pile of papers, wandering around aimlessly wondering which way is up and where to go next. Almost. Maybe. Well, we'll find out.